related: anxiety
The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another.
— William James
Sources of stress
Most stress comes from inappropriately managed commitments you make or accept.
From Naval on happiness:
Stress is an inability to decide what’s important.
In mental terms, stress is an inability to decide what’s important. You want two incompatible things at once. I want to relax, but I need to work. Now I’m under stress.
When you give up on something, it’s no longer stressful. When you accept that something’s out of your control, there’s no point in getting stressed about it.
Stress and Self-importance
Keep in mind how fast things pass by and are gone—those that are now, and those to come. Existence flows past us like a river: the “what” is in constant flux, the “why” has a thousand variations. Nothing is stable, not even what’s right here. The infinity of past and future gapes before us—a chasm whose depths we cannot see. So it would take an idiot to feel self-importance or distress. Or any indignation, either. As if the things that irritate us lasted.
— Marcus Aurelius
Most problems are the result of short-term thinking.
Sustained stress is a problem
Chronic stress shrinks your brain. It’s a problem you do not need to tolerate.
Most difficulties are imagined. Most problems are solvable. It’s possible to live stress-free most of the time.
When stressors inevitably enter your life, there are only 3 responses that make sense:
- ignore it: let go of it right away
- worry about it now: resolve it right away
- worry about it later: offload it from your brain into a list of some sort
Don’t just tolerate it!
Stress tells you one of two things:
- you are trying to control something outside of your control
- you are procrastinating on something within your control
Tolerating stress = ignoring what it’s telling you. Take action. Accept and adapt.
Sustained stress is a choice.
Stress increases suggestibility
“Pavlov showed that animal behaviour could be established or erased by exposing the animal to stress. For example, he could make a dog react aggressively to a caretaker with whom the dog was once very loyal. The same can happen to people. All people have a certain level of tolerance to stress. Once it is passed, people begin to break down and what they earlier believed and liked are easily changed. This can happen to prisoners of war. It has also been used to make religious and political conversions, and by police forces to elicit confessions.”
Strategies
Worry later
Batch your worrying. Set aside time to worry and plan for worst case scenarios. Dedicate time for living in the future so you can be present the rest of the time.
Turn it into excitement
Physiologically, stress and excitement are identical. Turn distress into eustress. Focus on maximizing the upside instead of dreading the downside. Instead of dreading the unknown, get excited about all the possibilities.
Breathing technique
The sniffle - inhale inhale exhale
Do something
When you don’t have enough to work on, your mind will generate problems. You dig yourself into holes you then have to crawl out of.
Distract yourself from your worries by diving into something. The work you’re avoiding can be a great escape.
Become immune to others’ stress
a low level of neuroticism, a high level of conscientiousness, and a high level of internal control orientation help buffer the transmission of stress.